Friday 14 March 2014

Friday 14 March 2014 @ 06.30

It is 33 weeks since I had my implant surgery and as well as giving you general updates on my progress, life etc. I wanted to have one specific in depth topic each post covering both the physical and emotional side of my journey.  I will still answer you all individually so keep the questions coming but for each post I plan to pick a specific topic and go into more detail.  As always I will be as clear and honest as I can.

So ask away!!!

Hope that all makes sense, well here goes....

One of the questions I get asked often is to do with pain and how it actually feels to have the implant in my body.

We all have a different take on pain and although I believe I have quite a high pain threshold I will and do react differently to the next man and to the next.  As you have seen from the photos way back, although initially my shaft and scrotum were quite bruised and swollen the actual pain I felt was minimal.  It was more uncomfortable than painful and in my case a couple of pain killers before I went to bed were enough to take that discomfort away with the relief lasting throughout the night and the majority of the next day.  To start most pain/discomfort came from the site of the reservoir (only when I was dressed).  My reservoir seems to have been placed exactly where the waistband of any clothes I wear sit.  With sweatpants or shorts it was and is fine and seems to give me very little discomfort.  If I wear jeans or anything with a tighter waistband it can get quite uncomfortable, even now if I am sat for long periods of time in the same position say on car journeys or at a desk it can still get a bit uncomfortable, not uncomfortable enough to take pain relief but enough for a bit of adjustment.  That goes for anything in the shaft or scrotum, a slight adjustment and its fine. 

My new nickname
 
“squirrel”
 
because I’m always sorting my nuts…
 
As I have described previously, for the first three months or so there was some soreness in the head of my penis where the tips of the implant pushed as I stretched and inflated to the max, that soreness has now gone completely and has since about month three/four and even though I am still slowly stretching there is no pain at all.  In the actual shaft there has never been any pain a bit of soreness but nothing much however the scrotum was initially a different matter.  I did mention way back that the first couple of inflations were for me very painful in fact the first inflation by the nurse had me sweating and reaching for the ceiling.  How to describe it - you have all now seen my tattoos, well for those who had a bit of a mid-life crisis like me and got yourself a tattoo well the feeling is very similar – except it was like lots of needles pricking the inside of my scrotum at every squeeze of the bulb instead of my skin. 

If you’ve never got a tattoo please don’t get one on my account just to get an idea of the pain <grin>. 

None of the pain has ever for me been unbearable and at the next inflation appointment I was ready for her.  A couple of pain killers on the way to the appointment and it was a doddle, still a bit uncomfortable but so much easier for me it just that first inflation that was bad. 

As you have read I have spoken at length about my penis, scrotum, testicles and shaft, well there is another end to the implant that sits deep around the pelvis somewhere that I have never mentioned.  Me not knowing exactly where the other end is and it being “somewhere” shows that I have never had any problem with it – from day one I have never felt it, it does not hurt, it’s not uncomfortable, it’s just there doing whatever it does.

Now 33 weeks post surgery I can honestly say that all of the pain and discomfort has gone.

 
Deflated

After 6 pumps

Fully inflated


 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
As you can see the only thing I have not managed to do is to get a wax and tidy-up – it’s far too sensitive – in a good way - and I’m not too good with a razor either – so for me, for the time being it’s going to be au-naturel.  
 

Now for how it feels to have the implant in my body. 

Emotionally I can honestly say I have gone from feeling emotionally a 3 to now being at least a 10.  It will not be the same for everyone and we have all had or want implants for different reasons.  For me I wanted back my masculinity and sense of well-being.  Physically I wanted my body to be in proportion again and I wanted to stop being resentful and angry.  Some of those feeling came from the Prostate Cancer and some from my inability to have an erection, either way getting my implant has enabled me to have all of that back and more.  I am happier and more content with life in general.  My confidence is back, I always was a bit full of myself anyway <grin> perhaps it’s back even more than before.

Prior to having my implant I described the Implant to my partner as a couple of long rubber tubes with hard tips lots of other tubes and a small “Lego” brick with a bulb attached to the side.  I was convinced that “the boys” would hit and rub against the corners of the “brick” and hurt and that the tips would hurt way beyond what I could cope with and the other tubes would be everywhere.  There has been nothing, no pain or rubbing from inside my scrotum.  Apart from the slight bit of extra weight in the scrotum when it hangs and the very occasional adjustment I do not even know it’s there.  My pump has settled slightly above and behind my testicles.  You cannot see it, even if you know it’s there and unless you actually feel the scrotum you would never, ever know.  The other tubes are hidden and apart from one that I can feel if I really, really try everything is hidden.  To inflate I put three fingers behind the “block” to steady it and squeeze the bulb with my thumb it’s so easy.  If in the future I have less strength in my hands I am sure I will still be able to use it without any problem.  It’s not uncomfortable and it’s not painful it is just part of the new me.  The bulb feels like another testicle (and it’s as slippery).  It can sometimes slip as I squeeze but even then there is no pain it just means that I have not held it correctly.

The feeling I get when inflating is not the same feeling I had from my natural erection.  Inflation and deflation is a process, I can feel each squeeze of the bulb stretching the shaft, I can feel it growing in girth and length and it does become extremely hard (think back to when you were a teenager).  The biggest changes now have come from arousal which I suppose is how it should be.  I can’t really remember exactly when I started to get the engorgement of the head and surrounding shaft back but it was a gradual thing.  I think it came back fully at around month 7.  That coupled with the return of sensitivity and for me as I have said so many times my implant has been the perfect solution to the situation I found myself in.


Till next time

All the best
Dave

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